Knock Knock Knocking On Heaven's Door

[helpdesk_hero]

It's been a long... Hell, David doesn't even want to think about how much time it's been. There's a lot of it that serve as a rather substantive gap. The time spent in alternate dimensions (time spent housing the White Hot Room apparently), time chasing down a solution... It felt like days. But he understood it was really different here.

Because, you know, fuck him. So many deaths, so much problems. Ones that got him hurt before, emotionally punished in extra ways for the trauma. But hey, that's just something that happens. To him. Three times. Fun.

But they get back. They're alive. They're... alive. Fucking hell he's tired of trying to transition, to find his feet, to find his place. Somehow it was easier on Krakoa. The dealing with the return of his powers had served as a base to work from. The immediate issues with Aurora had been distracting. The knowing he had to play it cool for Tommy's sake had made him focused.

And wasn't that the real issue here? Tommy. Tommy who will have grieved for him. Tommy who will think he's lost forever. Tommy who had missed the Gala and would blame himself for not saving David.

It takes hours of surfing the web to pinpoint where Tommy's been working from, because the guy sure as fuck wasn't with Pandemonium when David had gone to check in. Then he'd spent a day with the guy, helping him by cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning up, quietly asking after Tommy. Working up his courage to keep looking.

In the end he'd had to call in favors. In the end he'd had to ask Kate and ask her to be quiet about it even though that phone call had been filled with near screeching in relief that he was back. Another favor then called in to get in touch with Carol Danvers to get in touch with Lauri-Ell, to get in touch with Billy for a quick transit to a porch of a cute little house in Arizona. Honestly, he didn't know why Arizona, and even though he was in range of Tommy right now (damn the enhanced powers were going to be interesting to deal with), he didn't pick through it to try and figure it out.

He was too busy making sure that the bouquet of mixed, cheery color flowers were in hand and still in good shape. Busy making sure that the box of chocolates tucked under his arm were tidy. Fuck, he was going to hate them, wasn't he? What if there had been a funeral (he hadn't bothered to check), what if these had been at it? Fuck, maybe he should walk away. Maybe-

David knocks on the door before he can finish second and third and tenth guessing himself. Just... get it over with. Make the attempt. Try not to let the terror and memories of Noriko's reaction to the first time get in the way. Don't stand here assuming it's already done.

Even though it's probably already done.

Comments

[mph]

One thing that Tommy has gotten particularly good at in the last how many years of being a goddamn superhero is holding out hope. If he really had to think about why, it always has been because the alternative to holding out hope is accepting the reality of his situation: that he keeps getting the shit end of the stick, time and time again. The Young Avengers are never, ever getting back together; Even though he has a new family, he's still the last one anything thinks about at any given time; David is dead.

David is dead.

It took a while for him to accept that one. It took hounding everyone he could about the possibilities of undoing that. Someone had to be able to, right? These were the X-Men, this was his boyfriend. It took hanging up on Billy after he got an overly pitying and completely unhelpful I'm sorry. It took almost completely blowing up at Wanda before actually starting to cry, holding onto her when she pulled him into her arms tighter than he had ever held anyone, because when was the last time grief hit him like this?

Cassie's death had been one horrible moment in a lifetime of disappointment, but this was another thing entirely. This hurt like nothing else in the whole world.

He knows why now. Wanda had said it herself, that lovingly frank way that she seems able to explain the framework of reality: Losing someone you love, and who loves you, is like losing a home. It's the worst thing in the world. It took following her advice and isolating himself in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere Arizona to stop spinning out about it and really let it sink in.

He was actually in stupid love with David, and that was why this whole grieving experience felt like he had lost a limb. Great thing to finally realize and accept, now, when David is dead. For real dead, no messing with the fabric of time and space if both Billy and Wanda had said no. For real dead, and it was his fault.

It wasn't your fault, Kate had insisted, Lisa too (texting Lisa about it had been a weird, 2 AM insomnia idea, but worth it). Except it was his fault, because he could have been there and saved him. He's played over and over in his mind the what-if's and how-could's. He knows he could have gotten him out of there in time, if he had just gone to the Gala.

So, yeah, it is his fault, and the only person who had given him any solid, helpful advice had been Pietro: make up for it with revenge, make up for it with good, old-fashioned payback.

Except he hasn't figured out how to do that yet, not by the time there's a knock on his door that he assumes is Pietro again. He speeds to the door, eager for another distraction, and when he opens the door and see's David standing in front of him, the end of his sentence falls right out of his mouth. Time, which goes so quickly past him, stands completely fucking still. And Tommy stares.

[helpdesk_hero]

The door opens and he's met with Tommy and silence. Silence and staring. Not normally Tommy's MO. Enough that were David someone else, were this because of something else, he would in fact point it out and tease Tommy over it. Hell, he'd done it with other friends when he messaged them.

Billy's rant had been fucking choice actually. So powerful that the guy had literally sent a spell to read the damn ranting text AT David, in a loud and frustrated tone. Very impressive. Spite could lead to really fucking great feats of magic apparently. Though maybe that was part of Billy's MO. (Frankly he was lucky Billy hadn't just magicked him out of existence, past and present, just for the sake of Tommy's stress.)

But damn, this silence is hard. He wonders if his family will be easier or harder. Because yeah, he hasn't even told his family yet. Or any of his former teams (unless you count Kate and Billy, and he didn't tell them as a team thing but because he needed to find Tommy).

"I tried Leonia first. Left those flowers with Master P. You probably won't need to check up on him for a few days. I made him some pre-made meals. And did laundry and some cleaning. He said to tell you he misses movie night. To come back when you found what you lost again."

Listen, normally David thrived when no one was fucking talking. Normally it was Tommy that filled silences. This is the most awkward inversion ever and David's clearly shit at filling silences when he's nervous. Which is frustrating because there are SO MANY people he's been in the same room as who are good at small talk. He's been in the room with fucking Emma Frost. With Deadpool. With Kate Bishop who was literally a socialite and had to learn this shit. Why is he blowing it now?

[mph]

The silence is, only for a very short time, because Tommy is stunned. Less than a whole human second, which still felt like forever. No, the silence is because once he had come out of stunned, he went straight into suspicious, bordering on furious. David is dead, was this some kind of sick joke? Was that actually David? Was this a mirage, was this magic, was this one of the shapeshifters with an agenda? He's silent because the gears are turning, he's assessing, and if this fake-David talks he might be able to figure it out.

The words that come out of this fake-David's mouth are too personal and specific to be a generic copy. Someone's done their research. In fact, they only make him angrier. Was Master P okay? Would he go check on him only to find the house a pile of rubble? Was someone trying to mess with him or threatening him? Why? Why him? Was this about Wanda or Billy? (it's always about Wanda or Billy). He's 90% sure he's solid and not an illusion, just from looking at the way he moves in space. Only one way to tell for sure though. Very suddenly, Tommy punches this fake-David in the shoulder. Not hard, but enough to know he's solid. Okay, not a hologram.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? Who are you? Are you too much of a coward to come at me wearing your own face?"

[helpdesk_hero]

David's powers are a double edged sword. Knowing people on such a deep level means being able to predict them. Usually that's useful. Sometimes it's frustrating. It's definitely made relationships hard, both before and after losing them. But Tommy? Fuck if the guy isn't unpredictable. Fuck if that isn't part of what makes him so attractive to David. And hell, he always knew on some level that the day he could start predicting Tommy, he'd still care for the speedster. Because coming to know someone like Tommy enough to know how to predict him would mean having grown close enough to love him and not want to lose him.

He's loved Tommy for a while now. Knew some things were coming. But Tommy always finds a way to catch him off guard. Like this.

Like a punch that leaves his shoulder aching and causes the box of chocolates tucked under said arm to fall because David was caught off guard. Because he doesn't know what to do with this. Because... It hurts. Hurts like what Noriko did, but in a different way.

"Tommy," he says, because he can't think of anything else to say. And the pain, the confusion, the betrayal, those can't be hidden.

[mph]

Oh.

Even if the person standing in front of him isn't actually David, hearing him say his name like that hurts more than he could even begin to explain. He looks and sounds exactly like him. It could...actually be him, right? Was that even possible? Of course it was, everything's possible, just really improbable. The vast mysteries of chaotic improbability are why Tommy even exists, and it wouldn't be the first time David came back from the dead. He speed walks circles around David, trying to take in everything, just to be completely sure. He even picks the box of chocolates up off the floor to take a look at the brand and slide it back under David's arm. All of that in a blur of Tommy, before he's standing still in front of David again, holding his face in his hands.

Tommy has Magneto's eyebrows, with all of their intensity when furrowed. There is a skittish desperation in his expression, a desperation for hope.

"Are you actually--I swear, if you're not actually David, I'm going to kick your ass all the way to the top of Everest--"

[helpdesk_hero]

Well that can be two of them hurt over how David said his name. That's fair, right? And again, there's Tommy catching him off guard. A rush of wind around him, the box of chocolates back under his arm (the same brand David likes to get for himself, has been in his room at the Boneyard before), and then hands on his face.

Not often Tommy's touched him like this, and he hurts enough that he can't help but close his eyes and lean into it. Just for a moment. Just to feel accepted. Then he opens them again and meets those vivid greens and sighs.

"Just don't leave me up there. You know how much I hate the exploitation of the local environment and cultures there. It's just bullshit that rich white assholes go to another country for the kicks of dying on someone's sacred mountain and then ultimately causing pollution down watershed because of all of it. Throw me into the dead sea or something."

A very David request actually.

[mph]

That's David.

That is David.

"Holy shit."

It all happens too quickly for David's eyes to catch. Tommy breaks into a smile and wraps his arms tightly around David's body, tighter than he's ever hugged David. He buries his face into David's neck, standing on his toes so he actually can do so properly. Tears start to prickle at his eyes but don't drop, as he just tries to memorize how he feels, how he smells

Fuck, he really is in love with him. Fuck, he really is alive. He feels like he's really reached his hug quota for the next year, but he also doesn't want to let go. Funny, that.

[helpdesk_hero]

Hug quotas are bullshit. And David is... standing here, not sure what to do. Ultimately he decides the flowers and the chocolates don't matter as much as dropping them so he can get his arms back around Tommy. Don't matter as much as holding him tight and failing to hold back his own tears.

Last time he died Tommy didn't have to process it until after (thanks Sofia). But the time he died before that...

"You don't hate me for it?" he asks, his voice going raw and broken as he asks.

[mph]

"What??"

Tommy pulls away (with his arms still firmly wrapped around him) just so he can look at David's face with all that aghast confusion.

"What did you do? I feel like I should know what you did if I'm supposed to hate you for it. Hey--"

His hands drop so he can take David's, leading him into the house.

"Let's go inside--"

He only drops David's hands so he can quickly pick up the flowers and chocolate, dumping them unceremoniously on the kitchen counter, back in an instant taking David's hands again and leading him in and closing the door behind them.

There isn't really anything in terms of furniture. He doesn't intend to stay here long-term. There's a mattress, a couch, a coffee table, and TV with his systems plugged in, but that's about it. It's the same TV model that David recommended, with the best refresh rate for how he sees. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that David is here. Now that they're inside, he lets go of David's hands so he can grab his head, pulling him down for a kiss.

using hte same icon on two different accounts in ten minutes is hilarious

[helpdesk_hero]

Maybe they're both really messed up by all of this. Makes sense that they would be, doesn't it? But David doesn't know what to do with it. Except for do his best to make it up to Tommy.

As if that's even necessary.

He's pulled inside of the little house by a warm hand, looks around and sees how empty it is. Seems weird for Tommy, how... empty it is. The guy's got a big personality, needed to take up space. And this space is so fucking small.

There's no time for David to comment on it because yeah, he's being pulled down to kiss. Which he can appreciate. A reassurance that he's still wanted. Making out is how they deal with stress, and sometimes how they avoid the weighty talks. Easier not to say 'I love you' when your lips are occupied. So of course he's going to kiss Tommy back, hands coming to settle on those nice hips, to hold on but not restrain. Very important lessons he learned early on.

iiiiiii need to update my icons it's been too long

[mph]

Maybe he's been having a hard time. Maybe he's been having a really hard time. Most of his stuff is still back at the house with Pandemonium, all he took with him was what he could fit in a duffel bag, and figured the rest out from nearby towns and cities in the general southwest. It's almost like he's squatting again, except he paid for this place in cash and it's his. His own little corner of nowhere to be alone with his thoughts and his grief.

It sucked, actually. Turns out Wanda's a lot better at this being a hermit in the wilderness thing than he is.

Even if there isn't a whole lot to move out of the way, Tommy pulls away only so that he can move shit off of the couch and shove the coffee table out of the way, then back in a snap to kiss David again, eager to just keep kissing him. He just wants to keep his hands all over him, thumbs tracing along his hairline, gripping the back of his head, sliding down his neck, grasping his shirt as he hurries them backwards towards the couch. He tugs the shirt out from David's waistband, not because he wants to get him naked (not yet), but just because he wants to run his hands underneath, to just keep touching him.

David is alive. He's here.

When he flops back onto the couch, tugging David down with him, only then does he break the kiss, leaning his head back against the couch, his hands holding onto David's sides under his shirt.

"I can't believe you're here. I'm waiting to wake up, or for you to disappear or turn into something sent to kill me with my dick out."

still looks like tommy, it's fine

[helpdesk_hero]

Tommy's to social by nature to be any good at isolating. Maybe Tommy doesn't get that, but David does. The first day they talked it was clear to him. Tommy thrived when he could see other people, when they could see him. When he didn't feel trapped in a small room. Just seeing this makes David wonder if Tommy did the healthy thing here. Or if he put himself back in the small box of Super Juvie (with more entertainment and less government abuse) to punish himself over David.

He would hate himself if it was true.

Maybe he doesn't move as fast as a speedster, but he sure thinks pretty fast, so all of that is what he gets his brain up to while Tommy's moving furniture. It's better than thinking about the kiss. Overthinking the kiss. Thinking about Noriko. Thinking about how much kinder Tommy is than Noriko. Remembering that he was still in this state of 'what even are we' back before he died. Even if Jumbo had referred to Tommy as David's boyfriend when the guy was hovering for David's fitting.

And then he's being worked back toward the couch and Tommy's working his clothing out of anything resembling order. He's on the fast train to disheveled and David isn't going to complain. Normally it's the guy with the near death experience who gets horny. But for Tommy?

Once Tommy's on the couch and David's pulled with him, he's doing his best to shrug off the white coat and toss it aside. Just so it doesn't get messed up. Roberto had been kind enough to dress people when they got back. Guy always went over the top.

"It's always the rudest evil plots that kill you with your dick out," he agrees as his own hands settle on Tommy's shoulders. "I'm... I guess I'm the same way. Worried I'm going to wake up in your bedroom in Leonia, room empty. Or on my parents' couch the night after I get around to telling them I'm alive again, hurting because..."

Because Tommy pulled a Noriko.

"Tommy, I can't... If you're going to do the whole 'push you away because I'm scared of losing you' thing, can you do it soon? Because if you drag it out, I'm going to break. Do it all bandage like and not thousand cuts, because that would literally get me hitting on Loki, and that would be bad."

[mph]

"What are you talking about?"

Unlike David, Tommy can't just know things about people, and he doesn't ask about the things that really matter (the things that really hurt) more than he needs to. He wouldn't like it if someone did that to him, so he doesn't do it to anyone else. So, he doesn't know how David and Noriko broke up, only that it was awful. Because he doesn't need to know the details.

But he isn't stupid. He knows he's only the second person David's dated. He's met Noriko a handful of times and doesn't have any problem with her, except--except if that was her reaction to anything like this, now he just thinks she might be an idiot, or should really get out of the super-hero game for good.

Tommy sits up on the couch, finally willing himself to loosen his grip on David's sides, but not pulling his hands away entirely just yet. Like he needs to keep touching him to be sure he's there.

"Before the Young Avengers, I was alone. You know that. Everyone who matters to me is out there being a hero or putting themselves at risk every day, if I pushed away everyone I'm scared of losing I'd be alone again, and that's not going to happen. That's just the risk of doing what we do. I'm just scared this is a trick. I was sure you were dead, no one I asked could bring you back--and I asked everyone. So if you've been alive this whole time and you just let me think you were dead, I'm going to be pissed, but not as pissed as I am happy you're alive."

[helpdesk_hero]

There is so much to unpack there. David wants to sigh, wants to scream in frustration. Instead he moves to bury his face in Tommy's hair, just for a moment. Just to feel okay.

"The first time I died, Josh brought me back instantly. It's why I had the scar over my heart when we first started... before that second time I died when I didn't tell you."

The scars hadn't carried over. It was part of why David had been sort of avoiding hooking up for a bit immediately after. Afraid Tommy would notice the change. But he's moved on since.

"She dumped me. Kissed Hellion in front of everyone. It was because I died. I got it after, after the Cuckoos unlocked my knowledge."

That's an admission he hadn't shared much of before. It had led to so much of how David had been fucked up for a while. Part of why he never asked for a label. He could be Tommy's babe and host-with-benefits and frequent hook up and not get dumped if they weren't dating.

"I don't know exactly how long ago by your reconning I was brought back. Rachel forged a team of those of us who were going to be X-Men after the vote. We weren't actually in this dimension. Or timestream. It was... it was complicated. A lot. It was days but it might have been weeks. I don't know. We had a mission to deal with Moira. I ended up sort of temporarily bound to the M'Kraan crystal which is a whole thing given it's connection to the Phoenix Force. But the moment we were back in the here and now..."

He had come to find Tommy.

"I haven't even told the rest of my old teams. I haven't told my family. The only people other than you who know I am alive are Master P, Kate, and the people I needed to go through to get to Billy to teleport me out here. I came to find you."

[mph]

When David buries his face in Tommy's hair, Tommy just scoots closer and wraps his arms around him again and holds him. It's a strange thing, for someone who isn't really a hugger, or a hand holder, or a patient listener, to feel so comfortable doing exactly that. He doesn't need to overthink it--he knows why. He's had plenty of time in his mediocre isolation to think about why. Now, he just wants to hold on and not let go, because he cares so deeply.

So he just listens; if he has patience for anyone at all, he has patience for David. And that's a strange feeling too, but a good one.

His heart is pounding in his chest and in his ears by the time David's finished, and he grips David tighter. Tommy can identify exactly what he's feeling now, the same feeling he'd been feeling for a while but refused to acknowledge. He just has to say it, and that scares him more than anything else. If Wanda was right, and loving someone is like having a home, then there is nothing he is more afraid of losing; He's never had a safe place or person to call home. The Young Avengers were the closest thing he'd ever had to a home, and he's been adrift ever since. But then there was David. David, who came to find him before anyone else, before even his family. The same David who went searching for him through space after knowing him for a total of two days, when all of his friends had too much of their own bullshit going on to care.

No one, not even the woman who decimated the Avengers and the entire population of mutants because some version of him was taken from her would have come to find him first. No one except David.

Part of him hopes that David's powers will just pick up on the truth, and he won't have to say it, but he knows he has to. So he extricates himself from the hug (it's a cuddle, if he was going to be completely honest, but sure, let's go with hug) so he can hold David's chin and keep him looking at him. Not away, right at him, while he says what will otherwise get caught in his throat.

"What Noriko did was a real dick move. I'm not going to do that, because I love you, Genius."

[helpdesk_hero]

Of course he can't just pick up on the truth. David's always been so blind when it comes to things involving himself. So he's left letting Tommy control the moment, left to letting Tommy make sure their eyes meet. Which they do. And David holds that look. Because he's afraid of what happens if he breaks it.

And instead of that, he gets this. Gets the word he's been not saying for so long now. Not saying for most of the time they've been together. Had especially not been saying since the moment he approached the first Hellfire Gala and there Tommy had been, waiting for him, praising him, treating him like he was beautiful. Not judging him. Embracing him on one of the worst days of his life.

So many times he hasn't said it because he was terrified that Tommy would run. That Tommy would run again and he'd be left there, alone and rejected and hurting. And now the words just fall from Tommy's lips. He knows it can't be easy. But...

"Tommy," he says again, but it's so soft and aching. In a new way though. A hopeful one. His hand comes up to brush through Tommy's hair. "I love you to, Tommy."

[mph]

"Yeah, I know."

Maybe it's not the right response, but fuck the right response. It's the honest one. It's his turn to look away, drop his gaze down to David's shoulder as his hands drop to hold onto the hem of David's shirt again.

"I've known for a while. And I was glad you didn't say anything because I was scared. I'm still scared, but I guess it took thinking I'd lost you to really hit me, you know? And I talked to mom about it and she was full of wisdom, as usual." And he has the audacity to act put upon by all that Scarlet Wisdom. "And if anyone tries to get to you again, they'll have to go through me."

His jaw tenses and something stern settles in Tommy's expression. It's a look only the prime Young Avengers would recognize and has been absent his face for a long time. It's a look inherited from his uncle, his mother, and his grandfather. He looks dangerous.

"You tell me exactly who it was from Orchis and they'll pay for it."

[helpdesk_hero]

"Thank you, Han Solo," David says, because come on. He's a nerd, and that was a classic suave response to a love confession.

But he also is just trying to hide his nerves over what Tommy was saying. Confirming it was better that David had never said anything. That David's feelings scare him. But that firmness, that force... It's beautiful and scary all at once.

Somehow he doubts that Tommy's going to like his answer.

"From what Rachel said, it was Nimrod. Guess I had that particular pay back coming actually."

[mph]

Yeah, that's not great. His jaw tightens further, before he just sighs.

"That just means we need to think. I'm a fucking Maximoff and you're you. We'll figure it out."

In that, he has full confidence.

"Hey--"

Now that the cat's out of the bag, now that he's said what needs to be said, Tommy crawls into David's lap, chasing that closeness he's craving. Threats of violence aside, his heart is so full beyond its limited capacity that he feels like he could burst. He wonders if this is what it feels like to be full of that chaos that Wanda and Billy manage inside them. It feels like it could overwhelm him, like it could kill him or get him killed.

Like that's ever put him off. Bring it on.

The eye contact is back in full force, and Tommy smiles.

"I'm happy you're alive, and that you came to me first, and that you actually said it back to me, because if you didn't I probably would have exploded."

[helpdesk_hero]

Yes, he is a Maximoff, but Nimrod had also been able to stop Nori's speed. And David...

"Please, I don't... I don't want to lose you. Tommy, I..."

He gets moved. Okay, yeah, he's being moved and that's nice because he's got his warm guy close to him. Just crawled right into his lap. Yeah, he's definitely been welcomed back in welcome arms.

"I've been in love with you for a long time. Of course I was going to say it back. Of course I was going to come back. I'm just sorry you had to deal with all of this."

[mph]

There is a contradiction here, between two thoughts waiting on the tip of Tommy's tongue. On one hand, he is pretty certain that Wanda would never let him stay dead, so that's not really a concern. He's pretty damn confident in his unkillability.

On the other hand, there was absolutely no assurance that the same would be said about David. Of course nothing. David was dead, and now he's not dead, and now all that Tommy wants is to run away from David's death and towards David who loves him.

So even though he has every intention to see this revenge through, he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He doesn't want to talk about David's death. He wants to put it far, far behind him for now.

"Babe, that was a whole ten minutes ago. Now you're here, and I've got a mattress with your name on it."

Stay, he says in the only way he knows how. Stay, and don't go back to the grief Tommy is leaving behind him.

[helpdesk_hero]

Of course there's a contradiction. Don't be silly. But here's the thing: David never wanted to die the first and third time. The second is... debatable. But there's something to be scared of. If Tommy passed... who knew how Wanda and Billy would do if Tommy died.

For now he's definitely laughing in relief at Tommy's comment. The moving on. IT's... a relief. He's still shaken in so many ways, but Tommy is moving on. Again. This is the second time the guy is helping him through his death whether he intended it or not.

Before David had believed that Tommy had asked to make out after learning David had died because he was trying to distract David. Now he thinks it's been Tommy distracting himself.

"You couldn't even get yourself a simple frame? It's healthier, babe."

[mph]

Tommy loves David's laugh. It's a wild thing, to fully acknowledge the feeling, as frightening as it is. He loves making David laugh, he loves distracting him from the pit of seriousness he's so inclined to settle into. Most importantly, he missed David's laugh. Grief seems a pale fucking comparison to that well of feeling. He just grins back and shrugs.

"If you think that's bad, don't look in the kitchen. All I've got is leftover takeout and ramen. Besides, without a frame there's no chance we'll break it."

And he wags his eyebrows for effect.

[helpdesk_hero]

Good thing Tommy loves David's laugh, because he's really fucking good at drawing it out. And leaving David smiling even after the worst things in life.

"We haven't broken a bed yet."

It was a narrow thing. Granted Tommy could probably break a bed easily. He was just polite enough to not get up to things with the sort of force and speed needed for it. Because he'd sooner break David with that sort of stuff. Really, it was a wonder he wanted to be with what amounted to a baseline human.

"You know I'm going to have to ask why Arizona later though, right? And cook you a real meal?"

[mph]

It is one of the minor tragedies of Tommy's life that he hasn't broken a bed yet. It's a goal, something to check off of his superhuman bucket list. As for David's questions, Tommy just waves it off.

"Yeah, yeah, give me the third degree over a meal. Right now I want you naked."

He wants to be held, more than anything else, but he'll get there the easy and fun way, without asking for it directly.

[helpdesk_hero]

As if he couldn't just ask for it and absolutely get it from David.

"Be gentle with the clothes," David suggests. "They're some of the most expensive I've ever worn. Roberto was very happy that Sam was alive again. Like, insanely happy. One of these days those two are going to figure out their shit."

[mph]

He could ask for it, but he won't. Not when he's already been so open about his softest, most vulnerable feelings already, and not when he has a perfectly good way to get what he wants without asking for it directly. Instead, he only runs his hands up under David's shirt again, leaning in for a teasingy chaste kiss.

"You do look like a million bucks, but you'll look even hotter when you're out of it."

He kisses David again, with notably more heat than the teasingly chaste kiss just a second ago.

[helpdesk_hero]

"Did you really just 'it would look better on the bedroom floor' me?" David asks, laughing against that sweet kiss.

He might like it. Might have always liked Tommy's corny or cliche pick up lines. It made him feel wanted, and it felt so much more genuine.

[mph]

"Yeah, but the way I said it was smooth. You probably should have thought about the pick-up lines before saying how much you love me."

All of Tommy's normal instincts are telling him to dash into the small bedroom where his phone charger and the mattress are, and to tell David to catch up. The problem is--he doesn't actually want to be separated from him, even for the crawling amount of time it would take for David to actually meet him. It's stupid, but that's just how he feels. That lingering worry that David is going to just disappear hasn't gone away entirely.

So instead he just removes David's very expensive shirt quickly (but not indelicately), before getting up onto his feet and practically dragging David with him into the room.

[helpdesk_hero]

"Yeah but I don't want to think so much today," David says with a smile.

He has to laugh through the period of the shirt coming off (which wasn't long). It's so... gratifying to be desired. To be loved.

They make it part way and David was pleased to see Tommy staying at his pace. It's hot. Really hot. Hot enough that he pulls Tommy up against him. Pulls him close and kisses him. Then, with a smirk, he scoops Tommy up into his arms. For once he could carry the guy off.

"And where am I taking you, oh prince among men."

[mph]

Generally, one of the perks of being the super strong speedster is that Tommy's usually the one doing the superhero carry. It's a great perk now that he passed his teenage years and didn't grow past 5'8". Picking up David? Very fun, very sexy. Being picked up? Less fun, less sexy. Not having his feet planted on the ground and therefore making him markedly more vulnerable? Not his favorite. It takes a whole lot of trust for him to allow it, which David knows very well.

Lucky for David, then, that Tommy trusts him completely. That's love, bitch. He's so engrossed in kissing David back that David almost takes him by surprise with it. Almost, but not quite. Once he's up in David's arms, he twists around like a cat so that he can wrap his legs around David's middle and hold himself up. There--that's better. As to David's question, he just waves in the direction of the bedroom.

"You're taking me to pound town, but you should probably dump me on my bed first."

Well, mattress, whatever. He just grins, taking David's face in his hands again to go back to kissing. So much kissing. Kissing with tongue.

[helpdesk_hero]

Well damn, what a quick and flexible little man. Tommy always impresses him like that. And it makes him smile. David laughs and carries him right over to the bed. Laughs right against Tommy's lips because he can't stop kissing the man.

He's alive. He's alive and loved. What more could matter?

Then he drops Tommy right onto the mattress. But he smiles down at his boyfriend.

"God I missed you."

[mph]

From his position splayed down on the mattress, Tommy runs a hand up his shirt, pushing it up but not off in an intentionally teasing, tantalizing way. The come-hither stare is genuine, but it also masks something far more vulnerable in the way his heart pounds with David alive and missing him.

"Then what are you doing up there when you could be down here?"

[helpdesk_hero]

"Stupid sexy boyfriend," David mumbles under his breath. And look, he's even considerate enough to do it in a language Tommy knows. Because he's just being kind like that.

"I'm making sure we don't ruin one of the few pairs of pangs I currently own," he says, before moving to take said pants off. Even takes the time to carefully fold them in half and set them aside.

[mph]

By the time that David has taken to carefully get his pants off, Tommy has gotten impatient and just thrown his clothes off the other side of the mattress, with plenty of time to spare for enjoying the view.

A view he never thought he would see again. That pang of melancholy, that echo of grief already relegated to the past, has him reaching for David as soon as he's close enough again.

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh it will take a moment for him to be close enough. Because David wants all of this to last. All of this to be more than just a 'moment' of experience. If he draws it out then it will be more real. More real for both of them. Prove they are alive and this is happening. So he, just as slowly and carefully, peels his shirt off, folding it completely and laying it on the pants.

"You look like you're ready to jump me."

[mph]

Is Tommy fidgeting impatiently? Tapping his fingers in a rhythm against the mattress and against his cheek as he waits? You bet he is. Normally, he might be a little less impatient watching David undress, because--as said, the view is great. But now, it feels like the longer David takes, the more likely it is that some magical bubble is going to pop and David won't actually be there anymore. It's a stupid, irrational fear, but it's also not impossible. It's very possible, actually, knowing his luck and knowing the kind of shit that follows him and his family around.

Is he being clingy? Gross. But yes, that's actually what he's being. Fuck it, he can be clingy this one time.

"Newsflash, you're hot, anyone with eyes would want to jump you." Okay, deflecting isn't helpful. He knows that, so he just sighs through his nose and leans his head against his shoulder as he keeps watching.

"And I missed you too. A lot."

[helpdesk_hero]

"Plenty of people with eyes have never wanted to jump me in their lives," David says, his voice low and pleased with the implication that Tommy was special. That Tommy made him feel special.

Only then did he join Tommy on the bed. Moved immediately to straddle him. Best part of being with Tommy was knowing he could make these sorts of movements and any success he found was, inherently, consent. He could never catch Tommy off guard. He couldn't force his partner into anything. He could act, and Tommy got to choose what he wanted that act to be.

And any time he accepted... well, that was magical.

[mph]

Tommy has thought, a lot, about what David's big nerd brain is capable of, both with and without his powers. He thinks--no, he knows that if David put his mind to it, he could find a way to entrap him with relative ease. What is significant is that he knows David wouldn't, under any circumstances, even try. It's a non-concern.

So it's a balance of consent, and of trust, and it's not like anything he's ever experienced in his life. And that was a significant part of why he dragged his feet this long about accepting that feeling and allowing it to just be.

When David straddles him, Tommy sits up properly, wrapping his arms around David's middle and holding him close. This is exactly what he was after, more than making out or even sex. This vulnerable closeness that is just between them, where David isn't going anywhere. Tommy's playful deflection falls away into that vulnerable, needy earnestness. Just for now. Just for David.

"That's because they don't know you. They think you're someone that you're not, and you put walls up, so they don't bother. Which works out for me, because I love knowing you. You're amazing."

[helpdesk_hero]

Oh. This wasn't expected. Which is a delight. That's part of why he loves his partner after all. The way he defies expectations. He's held close, held in the undeniable and powerful warmth of the speedster.

Buries his face against Tommy's neck and tries not to cry.

"I'm just tired of this, Tommy. Being hurt. Dying. Suffering. Why wouldn't I have walls when all there is in the world is pain?"

[mph]

Tommy is glad that David buries his face in his neck. He's glad for the contact, for the initiation that allows him to wrap his arms tighter around David and get that comfort that he so sorely needs but refuses to ask for directly. He's glad that David can't see how is veneer of being Okay slides away. He's glad that David can't see how he is holding back tears. Holding tightly onto David is a relief.

But the thing is, Tommy has no wise, comforting words to give. He feels the same, he's felt the same for years, and years, and years. The both of them have build walls up to keep out the pain. He understands how David feels intimately and loves him all the more for it.

He just nods against David's neck, holding him tighter.

"Screw them. Screw all of it. Screw the X-Men, the Avengers, Krakoa, New York. Stay here. Almost no one knows you're here, and no one's coming out to the middle of nowhere looking for me. Except Pietro, but screw him too."

[helpdesk_hero]

It's okay. He knows Tommy's wrecked too. They're both broken up by this. David by dying too many times, and each time it being... it being a matter of hate. No accidents, only loathing. It hurts, and the intimacy being offered and accepted is a matter of comfort for him.

But the other thing...

"Yeah," he says, his voice soft. But he knows they won't keep to it long. It's not in their nature. David can't live disconnected from the world. But Tommy? He needs other people more than even David does. They won't stay here long.

But he can agree to the time he can get.

[mph]

David's not wrong. He's rarely, if ever, actually wrong. David doesn't even have to say what he thinks and yet Tommy knows it in his tone.

Tommy knows he could barely keep to his plan of going completely AWOL when he was on his own, much less with David actually alive and present. That doesn't change the fact he means what he says. Screw all of them. Maybe, if he tries really fucking hard, he can stay put and keep David safe for as long as he's capable of doing.

Because he sure as hell can't keep him safe outside of this house in the middle of nowhere. He can't take Nimrod on his own. He knows that. He isn't stupid.

So he just holds David tightly, letting that "Yeah" say everything.

It feels like an hour that he sits there in silence, holding him. It was probably just under a minute. He isn't paying attention to the time conversion.

"So, do you actually want to have sex or just cuddle? I'm easy."

[helpdesk_hero]

Yeah, Nimrod isn't easy to face, even with speed. Nori had issues with it as well. Tommy might have extra skill with it, but who knew. And that was something he'd rather turn someone he doesn't love on. Maybe Stark.

"Cuddle. God, Tommy, just getting to feel alive next to you right here is a balm for my soul. But I wouldn't turn things down if you wanted them."

[mph]

At that answer, Tommy just slides them under the covers, pulling his blanket up over the both of them as he turns them around enough to be laying down. He doesn't let go more than he has to, resting his head against David's shoulder.

"Maybe I'll wake you up with a blowjob at three in the morning or something."

For now, cuddling is exactly what he wants. But wait--wait, he should ask something about that.

"If that's something you'd be into."

He's learning to communicate consent! Be proud of him, babe!

[helpdesk_hero]

Tommy was always good at consent communication, whether he knew it or not. But this one was considerate in a way that earns a chuckle from David.

"One of your blowjobs? Fuck yeah, I'd be down for that."

And he has no shame in admitting it.

"But don't feel obligated, Tommy. Right now I just want to feel alive and in your arms."

[mph]

To that, Tommy props himself up on his elbow, so that he can actually look David in the eyes. He's got no intention of putting any space between them, but he does want David to see how completely serious he is.

"I don't feel obligated. You're incredibly hot, and I'll keep saying it even if you don't believe me. And I love you."

[helpdesk_hero]

Okay now David chuckles. He knows how attractive he is. Because he knows how attractive Tommy 'knows' he is. His powers getting a bit overcharged always left him with some special clarity.

"Attractiveness doesn't figure in to obligation or otherwise regarding blowjobs. But that last part. Damn. That feels good to hear."

Love. He is loved.

"It's a heaven that also comes from your lips."