Take Me Back (Deja Vu) -- For @crawlingbackwards

[california_dreaming]

Hawkins, Indiana. Friday, June 30th, 1995.

Ten years ago to the day a young lifeguard was kidnapped by her coworker from the pool, an act that ultimately led to hear death. Ten years and one day ago, the life of a particular asshole from California had been changed forever. Later on he'd blown out of town, not looking back, unable to face the horrors that the now infamously cursed town had in store.

A bit under a year later he read newspapers about a state of emergency that almost made him get back in his beat Ford Escort and drive back. But no. Nothing could ever get him to go back to that hellhole. That's what he told himself.

Hilarious that ten years to the day that his life had been ruined he had done just that, holing up in a hotel for some sleep to recover before what would be yet another life changing weekend in the cursed town. His ten year high school reunion. Hell, Billy didn't even know for sure just how the invitation had gotten to him. Someone must have found his contact information, because it had come and for a laugh he'd agreed.

Mostly because it was long past due when he should check in on Max, and he'd heard she might be in town checking on Susan. The drive was nice too. Good for inspiration. He'd taken it slower than the trip back to California, stopping at points with great views, hauling out a sketchbook, and getting ideas down on paper when he needed it. Never knew when some small detail would create something beautiful. Or terrible. Worked either way. Still gets into town, crashes on the couch in Susan's place after a meal (she'd actually gotten a bit better at cocking, who could have expected it), and then prepares for what comes next.


Billy Hargrove knows how to make an entrance. Has already made one in this small town before, but he does it now for old time's sake. Waits until he'll be half an hour late, so he can ensure all eyes are on him. If he's going to be back in this place of nightmares and memories, he wanted to live out some of the good ones. Which means tearing into the school parking lot in his blue and white Chevy Chevelle, engine roaring, music blaring. Barely anyone is outside of the school building, already headed into the gym, but the few who are...

Oh the looks he gets. They know this entrance. They know what it means. And before he even gets out of the car he knows there are whispers. But he does get out, smooths his fitted and well worn jeans over his legs as he does so. Back then he'd be in some shirt he hadn't bothered to do up all the way. These days he's still too mindful of old scars, choosing instead to have one where he can have the sleeves up and the buttons all done, like self respect. After a moment to psych himself up he gets out and makes for the gym.

"Well damn, Carol, you sure aged like fine wine," he says as he comes to a stop at the check in desk, smiling down at her. She looks so shocked. Like she can't believe he's here. Neither can Billy. But he keeps smiling and she reaches for a badge that is really deep in the box, like no one expected it to be needed.

"You too," she says as she hands it up. "Like what you did with your hair."

Billy reaches up, considers the curls. They're bleached more blonde than ever from all the sun back home, just as changed by California as he had been. But when he touches it he almost laughs. Apparently he'd forgotten to pull his hair out of the sloppy bun he'd put it in earlier while helping tidy a bit around Susan's place. Even reaches for the tie when Carol shakes her head.

"Oh no. Leave it like that," she grins. "You look tasty."

And Billy laughs as he accepts the passed over name tag so he can affix it to his shirt.

"When have I not been a snack?" he asks before nodding to Carol. "See you inside later."

Then he heads past her into the gym and feels the eyes turning on him.

Billy Hargrove had come back to Hawkins High School. Now he just needed to make it through the night. Maybe it would be easier this time, because so much of the old arrogance and steel had been worked off of him, just leaving a softer, happier man in its place.

Comments

[crawlingbackwards]

The annoyed look doesn't go unnoticed but also, Steve's used to it. He just lets Billy work his charm, not complaining about the idea of her knocking some of the price down, it meant he'd have more money for other things after all. Once upon a time that would have been him, now he was fine to be on the sidelines.

When he sees her writing the number on Billy's palm he has to bite back a small laugh, if only she knew the one who'd be more likely to call her would be him and not Billy out of the two and yet he was the one who was snubbed.

"Have a good evening." Steve smiles with a small wave, letting Billy head out before following him. It was only until they were out in the parking lot that Steve finally let himself laugh. "How am I not surprised, you've still got it. Next to you I must look terrible."

[california_dreaming]

Billy sighs and is quick to get into the car.

"Wish I had wet wipes to clean this shit off. I hate ink on my hand that I didn't put there. And yeah, I'm used to it. I do this a lot to make things easier. But you, Harrington, are a fucking wet dream. And if she can't see that, it's her problem, not mine."

[crawlingbackwards]

Getting in Steve reached across the center console to open the glove box. "There should be--ah ha!"

Taking out a package of wipes he handed it over.

"Being a dad has it's advantag..e..s...." Look, he's still not used to the idea of Billy Hargrove flirting with him. The fact that if not for the distance he would actually have a chance with the guy that almost all the girls in their school wanted, it's still jarring. Not that he's complaining. Instead he shakes his head with a laugh, face at least a little flushed in the dim light of the car.

"Okay, time to get home and get some sleep."

[california_dreaming]

Perfect. Billy chuckles as he takes a wipe out and starts cleaning the number off.

"Real dad move there, Steve. And yeah, I could stand to crash for several hours. Or days. But probably only hours."

And that's when he remembers something.

"I don't... wake up smoothly all the time. I don't wanna upset your kid."

[crawlingbackwards]

Shrugging Steve just chuckled as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Well it's a good thing your room is on the opposite side of the house then, huh? Don't worry. There's a lock on your door so you can lock it if you want to, though she usually comes to bug me in the mornings so you should be fine." She probably wouldn't even realize Billy was there until he came down for breakfast.

"Do you need a wake up call?"

[california_dreaming]

"I mean, some of it is that I don't like certain sorts of touches when I wake up, but it's also... The nightmares."

Surely Steve gets them, the PTSD. They can't get away from that, can they? So Billy really doesn't want to scare the kid. At least he tends to wake up less with screams and more with whimpers and shaking these days. Knowing Neil really had helped make some sorts of coping possible.

As for the wake up call, Billy shakes his head.

"I have an alarm. I bring it with me. I... certain sounds really mess with me if I'm asleep. Took me three years to find an alarm that worked reliably for me without it triggering shit. Just need to remember to put the right time on it."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Nightmares, yeah I get that. One of the reasons Lizzie's mom left, it's hard to sleep when your partner is tossing and turning and mumbling about monsters." He remembered the worst ones early on, before he had really done much with his therapist about them. They were still hard to handle but at least now it was easier.

"I used to just use a radio, nowadays I have a munchkin who likes to crawl in bed with her dad in the morning. At least when I don't have to get up early for work." Then she just got to spend time with her sitter, whoever decided to take on that day. The one thing Steve never seemed to have to worry about was finding a sitter for the girl. If not one of the kids then Mrs. Henderson or Joyce always seemed more than happy to help.

[california_dreaming]

"Shit, Harrington, you really went full on adorable dad didn't you?" Billy asks, smiling to himself at how impossibly cute it sounds. "Absolutely damn wholesome."

Who would have thought it, Steve Harrington, mister popular, the happy little dad with the happy little girl? What a thing to even see.

"Almost thing I'm jealous."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Look," Steve laughed. "I grew up an only child with absent parents. I always wanted a big family."

Grinning, he sat back in his seat and thought about driving that stolen Winnebago and talking with Nancy.

"I once told Nancy I had this dream of having like six kids and going on a family trip in an RV. She looked horrified." The laugh that follows this time is sort of wistful. "Said I was already getting practice with the kids part thanks to Mike and Dustin and all of them. Max too."

[california_dreaming]

One kid is hardly big, but there's nothing to be done for it.

"You probably were. That load seemed like serious brats," Billy agrees. He doesn't seem to flinch at the number of kids Steve wanted though. "So, one kid in, you still aiming that high?"

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean," His words trail off a bit before he continues. "Okay maybe not six but I'd like to at least have one or two more, but not many girls out here are interested in getting with a guy who already has a kid. If I did go out to California maybe I'd have better luck."

Being a single dad was suffering.

"I'd look into adoption but...not many people will let a single dad adopt. They want the kids to go to 'complete' homes. Not to mention if I end up with a guy instead? Definitely not happening."

[california_dreaming]

"There's always surrogacy," Billy points out. Nothing wrong with getting your baby through adopting that of another person. Hell, you could even get the 'fun' of helping make the baby in some cases.

"Like, that Robin chick. Maybe she'd wanna coparent with you. Not like she's going to have a kid without the volunteering of a donation."

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean, I've thought about that. It's just...I don't know. Feels kind of awkward to ask her about? Besides, I don't need a big family to be happy."

It was something to think about, maybe try to figure out how to talk to Robin. He wasn't even sure Robin wanted to have kids in the first place...she never really talked about it to him. And he had just figured...she didn't? Look he doesn't get how being only attracted to either girls(as a girl) or guys(as a guy) works when it comes to stuff like that. He's not the brightest always, but Billy knows that.

[california_dreaming]

No, but maybe he deserves what will make him happy. Not that it's Billy's place to really comment on all of it.

"You really impress me with this whole dad thing, so you know."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Do I?" Steve looked puzzled for a minute before remembering what Max had talked about later in life about Neil Hargrove. Not nearly as much about Billy since she knew he wouldn't want her talking about him and his experiences, but her own. At least before he skipped town just like Billy. So an attentive and loving dad probably was impressive to Billy.

"I mean, I try not to be like so many of the dads that were floating around when I was young. Or not in my case." He shrugged as they drove.

[california_dreaming]

"You sound like you really care, and yeah, I've not seen that a lot. But you care about her. And that matters," he says, smiling. Because it is interesting to him. That Steve could want a kid so much, and do so well.

"Guess I never saw you as that sort of soft person."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah well, you were only interested in seeing what 'King Steve' was like and I had already given that up before you showed up." Steve shrugged, it wasn't accusatory even. It was just a couple hurt teenaged boys clashing, each one facing horrors the other had no idea about at the time.

"The one good thing about my relationship with Nancy and my fight with Jonathan my junior year, I realized where I was going and the fact I wanted to change it."

[california_dreaming]

"Gonna judge me for wanting to see the fire of the prettiest guy in town? Hagan couldn't stop talking about you, Steve. I was captivated by word one."

IT had taken a hell of a lot more to change Billy.

[crawlingbackwards]

"It's still so weird to think about," Steve laughed. "To my face Tommy did nothing but drag me down for going 'soft' because I actually cared about someone. Like I seriously fell in love and he and Carol just thought it was the funniest thing."

Reaching up he pulled a hand through his hair before letting it drop against the center console, one hand still on the wheel. "They way you talk about it he sounds like some love sick puppy or something."

[california_dreaming]

Yeah, sometimes people are like that. Maybe it's even more likely in teens. Because love seems so impossible. But that other part...

"Dude, seriously? You don't see it? All his anger and lashing out at you after you find your real love and get serious with her and stop talking to him? My money is that Tommy Hagan was head over heels for you, and seeing you change, seeing you love someone else and cut him out because you could change and so he'd become something you wouldn't want? It'd sure explain shit."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah maybe, but I didn't cut him out until after he started it. Hell they were in the car with me when I thought Nancy was cheating on me. There helping me before and after I fought Jonathan." Steve trailed off, okay...maybe in hindsight he could see it but....hindsight is 20/20 right? Heaving a deep sigh Steve just shook his head.

"It wouldn't have worked out anyways, if he was interested he was so far in the closet and probably still is."

[california_dreaming]

"Sometimes it's hard to find your way out of Narnia, Steve," Billy says with a grin.

Yes, of course he's a nerd.

[crawlingbackwards]

Snapping and pointing at Billy from his seat Steve sort of grins.

"C. S. Lewis." He chuckled, because of course he's proud to get references. "Will recommended that one for when Lizzie's a little older as a bedtime story."

But back to the point.

"And yeah, I get it. I mean the only reason I found my way out was because of Robin and Eddie. She...kinda caught me checking him out and called me out on it. Had to tell her he wasn't the first."

[california_dreaming]

Well damn. He hadn't expected Steve to know that one.

"Might not be a good fit too. Very religious shit, and sorta dark toward the end. But you do you man. Read it to yourself first."

Because one should always read to themselves before their kid. It's only logical.

"Alright, who was the first that made you look."

[crawlingbackwards]

Well, tucking that bit of information away for later. He had planned on reading it himself anyways when he got the chance. Apparently fantasy books were a lot easier for him to read that the stuff they tried to have him read in school. Imagine that.

"Okay, first? Well I guess it's not much of a surprise if I say Tommy? I mean he was best friend and I was curious, way too afraid of losing said best friend though. A couple of the guys on the team weren't terrible to look at. After the fight and sort of working together....I don't know Jonathan was always sweet with his brother but after the shit I said to him...no." Had Billy only asked first? Welp, too bad.

"And I'd be lying if I said it was only the girls checking you out in high school."