Take Me Back (Deja Vu) -- For @crawlingbackwards

[california_dreaming]

Hawkins, Indiana. Friday, June 30th, 1995.

Ten years ago to the day a young lifeguard was kidnapped by her coworker from the pool, an act that ultimately led to hear death. Ten years and one day ago, the life of a particular asshole from California had been changed forever. Later on he'd blown out of town, not looking back, unable to face the horrors that the now infamously cursed town had in store.

A bit under a year later he read newspapers about a state of emergency that almost made him get back in his beat Ford Escort and drive back. But no. Nothing could ever get him to go back to that hellhole. That's what he told himself.

Hilarious that ten years to the day that his life had been ruined he had done just that, holing up in a hotel for some sleep to recover before what would be yet another life changing weekend in the cursed town. His ten year high school reunion. Hell, Billy didn't even know for sure just how the invitation had gotten to him. Someone must have found his contact information, because it had come and for a laugh he'd agreed.

Mostly because it was long past due when he should check in on Max, and he'd heard she might be in town checking on Susan. The drive was nice too. Good for inspiration. He'd taken it slower than the trip back to California, stopping at points with great views, hauling out a sketchbook, and getting ideas down on paper when he needed it. Never knew when some small detail would create something beautiful. Or terrible. Worked either way. Still gets into town, crashes on the couch in Susan's place after a meal (she'd actually gotten a bit better at cocking, who could have expected it), and then prepares for what comes next.


Billy Hargrove knows how to make an entrance. Has already made one in this small town before, but he does it now for old time's sake. Waits until he'll be half an hour late, so he can ensure all eyes are on him. If he's going to be back in this place of nightmares and memories, he wanted to live out some of the good ones. Which means tearing into the school parking lot in his blue and white Chevy Chevelle, engine roaring, music blaring. Barely anyone is outside of the school building, already headed into the gym, but the few who are...

Oh the looks he gets. They know this entrance. They know what it means. And before he even gets out of the car he knows there are whispers. But he does get out, smooths his fitted and well worn jeans over his legs as he does so. Back then he'd be in some shirt he hadn't bothered to do up all the way. These days he's still too mindful of old scars, choosing instead to have one where he can have the sleeves up and the buttons all done, like self respect. After a moment to psych himself up he gets out and makes for the gym.

"Well damn, Carol, you sure aged like fine wine," he says as he comes to a stop at the check in desk, smiling down at her. She looks so shocked. Like she can't believe he's here. Neither can Billy. But he keeps smiling and she reaches for a badge that is really deep in the box, like no one expected it to be needed.

"You too," she says as she hands it up. "Like what you did with your hair."

Billy reaches up, considers the curls. They're bleached more blonde than ever from all the sun back home, just as changed by California as he had been. But when he touches it he almost laughs. Apparently he'd forgotten to pull his hair out of the sloppy bun he'd put it in earlier while helping tidy a bit around Susan's place. Even reaches for the tie when Carol shakes her head.

"Oh no. Leave it like that," she grins. "You look tasty."

And Billy laughs as he accepts the passed over name tag so he can affix it to his shirt.

"When have I not been a snack?" he asks before nodding to Carol. "See you inside later."

Then he heads past her into the gym and feels the eyes turning on him.

Billy Hargrove had come back to Hawkins High School. Now he just needed to make it through the night. Maybe it would be easier this time, because so much of the old arrogance and steel had been worked off of him, just leaving a softer, happier man in its place.

Comments

[california_dreaming]

"Gonna judge me for wanting to see the fire of the prettiest guy in town? Hagan couldn't stop talking about you, Steve. I was captivated by word one."

IT had taken a hell of a lot more to change Billy.

[crawlingbackwards]

"It's still so weird to think about," Steve laughed. "To my face Tommy did nothing but drag me down for going 'soft' because I actually cared about someone. Like I seriously fell in love and he and Carol just thought it was the funniest thing."

Reaching up he pulled a hand through his hair before letting it drop against the center console, one hand still on the wheel. "They way you talk about it he sounds like some love sick puppy or something."

[california_dreaming]

Yeah, sometimes people are like that. Maybe it's even more likely in teens. Because love seems so impossible. But that other part...

"Dude, seriously? You don't see it? All his anger and lashing out at you after you find your real love and get serious with her and stop talking to him? My money is that Tommy Hagan was head over heels for you, and seeing you change, seeing you love someone else and cut him out because you could change and so he'd become something you wouldn't want? It'd sure explain shit."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah maybe, but I didn't cut him out until after he started it. Hell they were in the car with me when I thought Nancy was cheating on me. There helping me before and after I fought Jonathan." Steve trailed off, okay...maybe in hindsight he could see it but....hindsight is 20/20 right? Heaving a deep sigh Steve just shook his head.

"It wouldn't have worked out anyways, if he was interested he was so far in the closet and probably still is."

[california_dreaming]

"Sometimes it's hard to find your way out of Narnia, Steve," Billy says with a grin.

Yes, of course he's a nerd.

[crawlingbackwards]

Snapping and pointing at Billy from his seat Steve sort of grins.

"C. S. Lewis." He chuckled, because of course he's proud to get references. "Will recommended that one for when Lizzie's a little older as a bedtime story."

But back to the point.

"And yeah, I get it. I mean the only reason I found my way out was because of Robin and Eddie. She...kinda caught me checking him out and called me out on it. Had to tell her he wasn't the first."

[california_dreaming]

Well damn. He hadn't expected Steve to know that one.

"Might not be a good fit too. Very religious shit, and sorta dark toward the end. But you do you man. Read it to yourself first."

Because one should always read to themselves before their kid. It's only logical.

"Alright, who was the first that made you look."

[crawlingbackwards]

Well, tucking that bit of information away for later. He had planned on reading it himself anyways when he got the chance. Apparently fantasy books were a lot easier for him to read that the stuff they tried to have him read in school. Imagine that.

"Okay, first? Well I guess it's not much of a surprise if I say Tommy? I mean he was best friend and I was curious, way too afraid of losing said best friend though. A couple of the guys on the team weren't terrible to look at. After the fight and sort of working together....I don't know Jonathan was always sweet with his brother but after the shit I said to him...no." Had Billy only asked first? Welp, too bad.

"And I'd be lying if I said it was only the girls checking you out in high school."

[california_dreaming]

"I've known for a good long time that anyone who likes dick invariably ends up looking at me sooner or later," Billy notes with a shrug. "It's the life I've been given to lead."

It's not the best life, so much of it is stupidly shallow, but it's something.

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean, I can see some up sides and down sides." Glancing over Steve watches Billy a moment before looking back at the road.

"What about you? Maybe not your first but anyone, other than apparently me, else catch your eye in Hawkins?" Sorry Billy, he's been around Robin and some of the others enough he's used to gossiping. Plus some of the other teachers liked to too, he just didn't share as personal of stuff with them.

[california_dreaming]

"In Hawkins? Not by half. Saw you, everyone else in the hell hole was ruined," Billy admits with a shrug. he sees no shame in mentioning it. None at all.

Sometimes you see the best and nothing compares and you move on.

"Guess Munson, a little bit, in retrospect. Carver was too sanctimonious to be hot."

[crawlingbackwards]

"God, Carver, that guy was something else." Shaking his head Steve can't help the cringe even as he shakes his head. "Way too much religious trauma, even if he ever liked a guy it would have taken years to work through...if he ever did."

Steve does kind of preen a bit at the idea that apparently no one compared to him in Billy's eyes. Look, there was still that part of him that could be vain. He did still take extra good care of his hair, thank you. He's proud of his looks, even if only certain blonde artist seem to notice.

[california_dreaming]

It helps that even now Steve has some serious early DILF status. Beautiful and charming and just self possessed in a good way.

"You know, I'm seriously not regretting coming to my reunion now."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah? I'm glad because I'm not either. Thought it was gonna be so boring, just dealing with people who I already have to deal with at Parent-Teacher conferences. Definitely more interesting seeing a familiar face, especially seeing how you've grown."

Who knew starving artist looks was one of Steve's favorites. Well, maybe that had been another thing about Jonathan too but this was different. Definitely different. Plus there wasn't the 'he literally stole my girlfriend' thing.

[california_dreaming]

There really was that whole girlfriend mess. And Billy... Well, he's still fucking fit. With amazing hair. Hair that he finally reaches up to pull out of the messy bun, letting it call in twisting, tangled curls around his face and neck. It's less of a mullet now, instead just long and curling everywhere.

"Yeah, who ever would have thought Billy Hargrove could grow into a reasonable person. And all it took was seeing literal hell."

[crawlingbackwards]

Movement pulled Steve's gaze away from the road again, blinking at the sun bleached curls before looking back at the road again with a long drawn out sigh. It's over played and obviously not serious.

"Man, I can't even have the nicest hair in town. Had to take that from me too."

[california_dreaming]

"Yeah, but yours is beautiful without the amount of maintenance mine takes," Billy laughs. "Special hair products, special pillow cases, the whole works. Can't imagine how much of a pain it is to look this beautiful all the time."

And he doesn't, all the time. When he's working on a great piece he can lose himself for days.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Fair enough," Steve concedes, nodding towards Billy. "I think I remember Erica, Lucas' little sister, telling Dustin about how to care for his hair better? Sounds like a lot."

Stuff that he didn't have to worry about, but Lizzie's hair was starting to curl more. Maybe he'd have to keep an eye on that. He's thinking about that as a loud yawn has him shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes.

"Damn it Hargrove, I'm so far past my bed time right now." There's a quiet laugh that follows. "If you like being a night owl, don't have kids...that's all I have to say. Or do and just never sleep again."

[california_dreaming]

"Hell of a lot," Billy agrees. "And that's before I get the curlers out."

Because of course he wants his curls to be beyond perfect.

"Aww, you have a bedahhhhhh!"

Yeah, no, he's yawning now too. Dammit.

"I'm a surfer, Steve. I'm a morning person."

[crawlingbackwards]

The yawn that echoes his own has Steve laughing, a bright sound despite how tired he feels.

"Soon, we'll be home soon and then we can both pass out."

[california_dreaming]

"Sounds like a beautiful plan from a beautiful man," Billy says. God, he just wants to sleep so much.

"Bet you have good beds and everything."

[crawlingbackwards]

"If you aren't careful you're gonna spoil me with all these compliments and then disappear again." Steve joked.

"But yeah, the beds are pretty nice. You should be comfy in the guest room."

[california_dreaming]

"Can't help that I'm as unpredictable and fleeting as the wind," Billy says. But he's going to keep complimenting Steve, spoiling him. "Besides, you deserve spoiling."

God, a comfortable bed. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

[crawlingbackwards]

"You'd probably be the only one to think that." Or so Steve thinks, sure Robin offers to watch Lizzie some times and Eddie had been known to spoil him a bit when they were together but it didn't seem as near constant as Billy was. 'Pretty boy', 'Beautiful', he really was just making Steve raise his standards on how guys treated him.

"Well, other than me. I'm not complaining. Might complain about the whole fleeting as the wind but...you can't capture the wind." Besides, he wouldn't want to. And he sure as hell wouldn't want to ask Billy to come back here even for a day more than Billy wanted to. Not with all the memories this town holds.

[california_dreaming]

If this little bit of attention was spoiling Steve, then Steve really needed to meet quality guys. Guys that would treat him like the royalty he is.

"There's plenty of ways to channel the wind to your purposes," Billy shrugs. And maybe that's all you should do. Channel it, but leave it to do its own thing. Let it be what it would be.

But being in Hawkins, living here? That won't happen. Somewhere not California, maybe. But Hawkins? Steve's beautiful but he's not enough to lure Billy.