Take Me Back (Deja Vu) -- For @crawlingbackwards

[california_dreaming]

Hawkins, Indiana. Friday, June 30th, 1995.

Ten years ago to the day a young lifeguard was kidnapped by her coworker from the pool, an act that ultimately led to hear death. Ten years and one day ago, the life of a particular asshole from California had been changed forever. Later on he'd blown out of town, not looking back, unable to face the horrors that the now infamously cursed town had in store.

A bit under a year later he read newspapers about a state of emergency that almost made him get back in his beat Ford Escort and drive back. But no. Nothing could ever get him to go back to that hellhole. That's what he told himself.

Hilarious that ten years to the day that his life had been ruined he had done just that, holing up in a hotel for some sleep to recover before what would be yet another life changing weekend in the cursed town. His ten year high school reunion. Hell, Billy didn't even know for sure just how the invitation had gotten to him. Someone must have found his contact information, because it had come and for a laugh he'd agreed.

Mostly because it was long past due when he should check in on Max, and he'd heard she might be in town checking on Susan. The drive was nice too. Good for inspiration. He'd taken it slower than the trip back to California, stopping at points with great views, hauling out a sketchbook, and getting ideas down on paper when he needed it. Never knew when some small detail would create something beautiful. Or terrible. Worked either way. Still gets into town, crashes on the couch in Susan's place after a meal (she'd actually gotten a bit better at cocking, who could have expected it), and then prepares for what comes next.


Billy Hargrove knows how to make an entrance. Has already made one in this small town before, but he does it now for old time's sake. Waits until he'll be half an hour late, so he can ensure all eyes are on him. If he's going to be back in this place of nightmares and memories, he wanted to live out some of the good ones. Which means tearing into the school parking lot in his blue and white Chevy Chevelle, engine roaring, music blaring. Barely anyone is outside of the school building, already headed into the gym, but the few who are...

Oh the looks he gets. They know this entrance. They know what it means. And before he even gets out of the car he knows there are whispers. But he does get out, smooths his fitted and well worn jeans over his legs as he does so. Back then he'd be in some shirt he hadn't bothered to do up all the way. These days he's still too mindful of old scars, choosing instead to have one where he can have the sleeves up and the buttons all done, like self respect. After a moment to psych himself up he gets out and makes for the gym.

"Well damn, Carol, you sure aged like fine wine," he says as he comes to a stop at the check in desk, smiling down at her. She looks so shocked. Like she can't believe he's here. Neither can Billy. But he keeps smiling and she reaches for a badge that is really deep in the box, like no one expected it to be needed.

"You too," she says as she hands it up. "Like what you did with your hair."

Billy reaches up, considers the curls. They're bleached more blonde than ever from all the sun back home, just as changed by California as he had been. But when he touches it he almost laughs. Apparently he'd forgotten to pull his hair out of the sloppy bun he'd put it in earlier while helping tidy a bit around Susan's place. Even reaches for the tie when Carol shakes her head.

"Oh no. Leave it like that," she grins. "You look tasty."

And Billy laughs as he accepts the passed over name tag so he can affix it to his shirt.

"When have I not been a snack?" he asks before nodding to Carol. "See you inside later."

Then he heads past her into the gym and feels the eyes turning on him.

Billy Hargrove had come back to Hawkins High School. Now he just needed to make it through the night. Maybe it would be easier this time, because so much of the old arrogance and steel had been worked off of him, just leaving a softer, happier man in its place.

Comments

[california_dreaming]

"Damn man," Billy laughs. "Who woulda thought? ANd you hit that?"

Fuck, Billy is actually impressed there.

"Never would have thought you'd be into that sorta stuff."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yes and no. I mean don't get me wrong, some of it wasn't so bad but...I wasn't as into the scene as Eddie." Definitely some of it was actually pretty therapeutic in a way.

"But luckily, Eddie was really good at listening and making sure I was okay with things. He didn't push when I said no to something."

[california_dreaming]

"You never really struck me as a sub anyway," Billy says with a shrug. Yes, he'd absolutely understood just what Eddie was into. Of course he was fluent in the signs.

But still, imagining Steve like that... hard.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Heh yeah, he didn't think so either." Don't get him wrong, after so much time being the one to help and support everyone else Steve definitely was fine with the idea of being taken care of on some level but some of it...just wasn't his scene. Scene's in the bedroom was one thing, he could never do the full lifestyle that was for sure.

"You now know so much more about my sex life than is fair, your turn to share some sordid secret or something."

[california_dreaming]

"What, the walking in on my ex boyfriend slash roommate fucking another guy in our bed wasn't enough?" Billy laughs. Still, he has to think about it.

Closes his eyes and just lets himself process. What could he say?

"Found out I give great road head."

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean I feel like that says way more about him than it does you," Steve starts, only interrupted but a laugh when Billy mentions 'road head'.

Dude. Saying that to the driver?

"You know, I can't be surprised you'd be into that. Riskier stuff I mean."

[california_dreaming]

"I'm not, most of the time," Billy admits. "Not these days. Everything's... I like to feel safe. I know what the car says, but I like my risk to be in the form of my art, not..."

Not things that can end him up in a hospital. That can remind him what they were like.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Okay yeah I get that, safe is definitely good." Steve nodded, catching sight of a familiar building coming up. "Speaking of, when you have the time I'd love to see more of your stuff. The guys have shown me some of the cards and they're amazing."

He was ready to talk through it, distract Billy however he could.

[california_dreaming]

"The cards are only some of it, but I do have some in progress sketches with me. Most of the really good stuff, the full on paintings, those are back home."

And if he doesn't have the canvases with him, well, then they weren't going to be available.

"I guess stop by Susan's some time. I left a gift with her. For thanks for caring."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah, makes sense. I'll definitely have to do that then." At least he went over there already from time to time to see Max and make sure Susan was doing alright.

"So are your paintings a different style than what you do for the cards or...?"

[california_dreaming]

BUt hopefully Steve didn't do it while Billy was there. He didn't like having people criticize his work in front of him. They were doing perfectly fine right now without that.

"I do a lot of styles, but when I'm doing it just for myself it's less... structured."

[crawlingbackwards]

To be fair, Steve would probably just tell Billy how much he liked it because he knows next to nothing about art. Other than it's important to the people who make it.

"Yeah? How so? Like...you just go for it instead of planning stuff out?" He's trying, he really is.

[california_dreaming]

"It's that, but it's also not just that. It's the technique. It's... It's emotion on canvas, or memories. The edges are fuzzy, if they are even concretely there."

How was he even supposed to explain it.

"Might have to ask some of your nerds about their cards. One of my earlier ones might help as a comparison."

[crawlingbackwards]

Steve watched out of the corner of his eye as the large familiar steel works building came and went, glad that for now at least Billy seemed distracted with talk of his art.

"Oh okay, yeah I'll have to see what the guys have." Chuckling Steve shook his head. "Sorry, I know basically nothing about art. It's fascinating and what I have seen is really good...I'm just really not a critic or anything. Will could go one for hours about color theory and paints and it just goes over my head. But it makes him happy, and it seems like it's really helped you."

[california_dreaming]

"They really spend that much time speculating over the artist's name on pieces of cardboard?" Billy asks with a chuckle. He hadn't thought they would ever think about him in a somewhat positive light. How strange.

"Art turned... into a sort of therapy for me. But I loved it as a kid too. I just wasn't allowed to have it.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah well, apparently your art affected them. Well okay, Will and Dustin. Mike and Lucas are stubborn and are probably still terrified of you." There's an exaggerated shrug as they pull into the hotel's parking lot.

"I hear it's good for that, therapy I mean."

[california_dreaming]

"After what I did, it's fair. I can't even imagine why any of them would be excited about me being, well, me," Billy says with a shrug.

Unless they want free product. And all he has are the original paintings and his artist proofs. Which he's saving. He's got a theory if this game sticks around that they'll be worth sometime some day.

"It is. On nights I can't sleep I just set up a canvas, get out some oils, and go to town."

[crawlingbackwards]

"I think it's just exciting for them that it's someone who they know on some level. Also," Getting ready to get out he lightly punches Billy in the arm. "We all know that wasn't all you in there that did all that. I fought the guy that did it, definitely didn't look like you. Less pretty blonde hair and more...gross creepy tentacles."

Imagine liking someone's art and not wanting something from them, then again...Dustin might but he'd never ask. Steve had been trying to help work on the guys ego over the years...and his manners.

"You really are the picture of the starving tortured artist. Please tell me they're at least paying you well for your paintings. Less starving? Just more trauma?"

[california_dreaming]

"I did plenty before that," Billy says, his voice soft. He didn't like who he was back then. Though he appreciates the compliment for his hair.

"Alright then. Just gotta deal with this part now."

With that Billy's getting out of the car, already hauling his wallet out for his ID and the like.

"Trust me, they pay me a lot. Plenty of trauma, but I do other work too. I'm getting by. Just need a new roommate so I can get a more concrete place nailed down. But I've had a few minor shows of my work."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah, but you've also grown. Not that anyone but apparently three, sorry four, whole people in Hawkins knows it? Wait does Max know how much you've changed? Am I one of the few who get's to see the new and improved Billy Hargrove before anyone else-wait I thought I'm paying for the reservation, you better not be pulling money out."

Because Steve is already following and pulling out his own wallet and debit card.

"Wait, the cheating ex kept the place? Or did you both move out?"

[california_dreaming]

"Max and I haven't seen each other since i left. Thus the 'surprise' thing," Billy says.

He'd stayed in touch with Susan only, and asked her for privacy.

"Geez, Handsome, I'm letting you pay. Need the ID for verification," he says as he moves to get to the door. "And we're both moving out. I can't live with him, and I can't afford the place alone."

[crawlingbackwards]

Nodding at the first part Steve motions with his hands as he talks, just his usual thing.

"Look, I am so used to some people not letting me actually pick up the tab when I tell them I'm going to." Jonathan just really doesn't like feeling indebted to Steve in any way. That's more a him thing than a Steve thing though.

"I don't blame you though, I wouldn't be able to either. I don't know how my parents have stayed together so long. Pretty sure it's pure spite at this point."

[california_dreaming]

"Yeah, well I'm still going to figure out a way to repay you. But right now, I could use the reserves," he admits with a shrug.

As for the whole staying together...

"It's easier when you can't be married or any shit like that."

[crawlingbackwards]

"You can try." Matching the shrug, Steve just followed Billy to the hotel entrance.

"Yeah, and apparently divorces aren't worth the time or energy. At least not for them."

[california_dreaming]

"They probably look better to outsiders," Billy says with a shrug. "Status is all that matters to some people."

And then they're int he motel and Billy's at the counter, smiling with all that old buttery charm.

"Hey. Billy Hargrove. I have a room reserved for a few days. Gotta cancel. Old friend insisted. Sorry."