Take Me Back (Deja Vu) -- For @crawlingbackwards

[california_dreaming]

Hawkins, Indiana. Friday, June 30th, 1995.

Ten years ago to the day a young lifeguard was kidnapped by her coworker from the pool, an act that ultimately led to hear death. Ten years and one day ago, the life of a particular asshole from California had been changed forever. Later on he'd blown out of town, not looking back, unable to face the horrors that the now infamously cursed town had in store.

A bit under a year later he read newspapers about a state of emergency that almost made him get back in his beat Ford Escort and drive back. But no. Nothing could ever get him to go back to that hellhole. That's what he told himself.

Hilarious that ten years to the day that his life had been ruined he had done just that, holing up in a hotel for some sleep to recover before what would be yet another life changing weekend in the cursed town. His ten year high school reunion. Hell, Billy didn't even know for sure just how the invitation had gotten to him. Someone must have found his contact information, because it had come and for a laugh he'd agreed.

Mostly because it was long past due when he should check in on Max, and he'd heard she might be in town checking on Susan. The drive was nice too. Good for inspiration. He'd taken it slower than the trip back to California, stopping at points with great views, hauling out a sketchbook, and getting ideas down on paper when he needed it. Never knew when some small detail would create something beautiful. Or terrible. Worked either way. Still gets into town, crashes on the couch in Susan's place after a meal (she'd actually gotten a bit better at cocking, who could have expected it), and then prepares for what comes next.


Billy Hargrove knows how to make an entrance. Has already made one in this small town before, but he does it now for old time's sake. Waits until he'll be half an hour late, so he can ensure all eyes are on him. If he's going to be back in this place of nightmares and memories, he wanted to live out some of the good ones. Which means tearing into the school parking lot in his blue and white Chevy Chevelle, engine roaring, music blaring. Barely anyone is outside of the school building, already headed into the gym, but the few who are...

Oh the looks he gets. They know this entrance. They know what it means. And before he even gets out of the car he knows there are whispers. But he does get out, smooths his fitted and well worn jeans over his legs as he does so. Back then he'd be in some shirt he hadn't bothered to do up all the way. These days he's still too mindful of old scars, choosing instead to have one where he can have the sleeves up and the buttons all done, like self respect. After a moment to psych himself up he gets out and makes for the gym.

"Well damn, Carol, you sure aged like fine wine," he says as he comes to a stop at the check in desk, smiling down at her. She looks so shocked. Like she can't believe he's here. Neither can Billy. But he keeps smiling and she reaches for a badge that is really deep in the box, like no one expected it to be needed.

"You too," she says as she hands it up. "Like what you did with your hair."

Billy reaches up, considers the curls. They're bleached more blonde than ever from all the sun back home, just as changed by California as he had been. But when he touches it he almost laughs. Apparently he'd forgotten to pull his hair out of the sloppy bun he'd put it in earlier while helping tidy a bit around Susan's place. Even reaches for the tie when Carol shakes her head.

"Oh no. Leave it like that," she grins. "You look tasty."

And Billy laughs as he accepts the passed over name tag so he can affix it to his shirt.

"When have I not been a snack?" he asks before nodding to Carol. "See you inside later."

Then he heads past her into the gym and feels the eyes turning on him.

Billy Hargrove had come back to Hawkins High School. Now he just needed to make it through the night. Maybe it would be easier this time, because so much of the old arrogance and steel had been worked off of him, just leaving a softer, happier man in its place.

Comments

[california_dreaming]

Of course he's taking the napkin, carefully folding it, and tucking it into his wallet. Better to keep it near.

"I think you might be a natural if you put your mind to it, Harrington. Steve."

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean, I was before I got together with Nancy. Started caring a bit too much and letting others opinions get to me more." He waved a hand, biting back the small grin that came with watching Billy put the napkin in his wallet. Something about that hit harder. Not balled up and put in in his pocket or something. Even if it was doomed to be forgotten in the leather folds, at least it was safer.

"Who knows, maybe I just need a little practice."

[california_dreaming]

The only place Billy could put it where the thing would be safer and be more likely to be quickly found would be in his pencil case, and given that could end up with the thing messed up and the number becoming illegible, this was pretty secure for him.

“You have an excuse to keep in practice, beautiful?” He asks with a smile.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Hm," Steve made a thoughtful sound as he drained the last of his coffee with a small smile on his lips. Only continuing after he placed the mug down, fingers running over the handle idly.

"I don't know, might have someone in mind. Besides just because I'm a dad now doesn't mean I don't still have needs or wants, y'know?"

[california_dreaming]

Steve’s coffee is done. That feels… Well, it feels like it means something in Billy’s book. Like things are about to be over. Because we would Steve stick around? They got their coffee, and Steve is clearly free to go. Got plenty to go home to.

All Billy’s got is a hotel room and a number he would never dare to call late at night.

“Oh, and what is it you need?”

[crawlingbackwards]

When Steve sees the waitress he just smiles and holds up his mug. Sure he probably doesn't need the caffeine so late at night but he doesn't want it to end. He hadn't been lying when he said getting to talk to someone like Billy was refreshing. He had the same group for years, the same friends since everything went down, it was nice to have someone new. Even if that someone wasn't so new but rather changed, grown. They both had grown and changed over the years and it showed.

"What do I need?" Steve shrugged as the waitress filled his mug with mediocre scalding coffee, to which he gives her one of the usual Steve Harrington(patent pending) bright smiles before continuing as she left. "Someone who at least gets some of the bullshit while not treating me like I'm going to spiral into a panic attack because of something or other.Or someone that doesn't need me but just wants me around."

[california_dreaming]

Well damn, it’s not over. That earns a private sort of smile. Thing was, Billy sort of didn’t want the night to end. With the dawn Steve might rethink some things. A very Cinderella’s carriage turning back into a pumpkin sort of thing.

“Switch to decaf for me,” he advises the waitress. But he’s not done. She gets to go, he gets to wait, and they get to keep talking. “Honestly, between you and me, I’m the one more likely to do the whole panic attack thing. Got medication for it and everything. Breathing exercises.”

Steve nearly died to those things a number of times. But Billy had seen it in a whole different nearly fatal way.

“You think your kid doesn’t want you around?”

[crawlingbackwards]

"I probably would too if I trusted Dr. Owens more. He tried for Will but in the end only made it worse without realizing it." Not that he had near the problems Will did. Shaking his head he looks at the decaf and can't help but think how he should have done the same. He'd be up all night at this rate. Well, more papers to get graded he guessed.

"Hm? Well yeah she wants me around now but it's different. She more needs me you know? She's a kid, she can't really do a whole lot on her own just yet. Just wait until she's the rugrats ages when you moved out here. Then I'll just be back to a taxi driver for hooligans. Hopefully with less monsters this time around."

[california_dreaming]

Worse huh? Well that sucks. Billy… He didn’t entirely like the way that his anxiety medication felt like someone was throwing a giant blanket over him, smothering his emotions. Felt too much like the Mindflayer shit. But at the same time, sometimes you needed that to get yourself back under control.

And he knew at the end of the day that he was under control.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try them, Steve. There’s nothing bad about medicine for your brain. No more strange than your glasses there. It can help. And if it doesn’t, you don’t have to take them again. Sometimes just knowing I have them and have that option helps.”

Not always, but definitely sometimes.

As for the kid, he has to laugh and shake his head.

“From what little I remember of seeing of you between Halloween and that summer, I don’t think she’s going to be a hooligan. She’s got a doting and attentive parent and maybe she’ll feel a bit coddled, but she’ll know she’s got love and support behind her. Kids need that.”

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah, I'm not against 'em. Just hard to find a good doctor out here. Not as progressive as out on the West Coast, right?" Man the more he talked about it the more a move really did feel like the right thing for both of them. Then that steers him back to Lizzie and he has to laugh.

"Oh yeah I may be doting and attentive, but she has Eddie Munson and Robin Buckley as an aunt and uncle. Those two have taught her to be such a gremlin." Steve laughs, rolling his eyes. Gremlin, yeah that was about right. He could already see the mischievous twinkle in her pretty brown eyes some times.

[california_dreaming]

"They don't give you doctors, the government? For the shit they did to you all?"

How is that even possible? Someone needs to sue those fuckers. It won't be Billy. He doesn't need to deal with all of that. Instead he's left intrigued over this news.

"You made friends with The Freak?"

[crawlingbackwards]

"I mean they do, I see one every other week." Steve shrugs, blowing on his hot coffee before taking a small sip. "They're just also kinda picky about giving people meds."

After all he's a healthy young man, what did he need medication for right? No matter the nightmares and panic attacks just to name a couple things, he just had to bottle all that up and put it aside and show that he was a normal productive member of society. Right? Right...sure.

"Huh? I mean...I did mention that he and I had a thing for a bit right? And how he calls my daughter Lizard. Yeah he and I got to be friends when the whole "Eddie murdered people" stuff was happening." He shrugged with a grin. "He was the dungeon master for the club that Dustin and them were a part of and Dustin practically worshipped the guy. We were bound to meet eventually but there's nothing like monsters and the threat of a blood thirsty mob of closed minded bigots to figure out that they, this guys actually pretty cool."

[california_dreaming]

Huh, that's interesting. Out in California the docs didn't mind giving out the medication that Billy needed. But maybe they had seen his doctor's records and read about the scars and assumed he needed them even more.

"Shit, a lot happened after I left," he observes. Munson being accused of shit, more evil monsters shit, people dying, Steve being not so straight.

"Who knew I'd come back to Hawkins and would find things so different."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah," Steve nods, again running fingers over his mug after setting it down and letting the warmth seep into his hands. It's nice, feels better than the cold that sometimes lingered. He knows this time of year it's more psychological than anything but the hot coffee is still a nice distraction.

So is the company.

"I mean not much has changed around here really. Not on the surface at least."

[california_dreaming]

"Riptides, man. They look perfectly calm and clear on the surface. They'll sweep you out and kill you."

And if that wasn't a fucking metaphor for Hawkins, there might not be a better one. Especially since Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn't out yet for him to go for 'hell mouth'.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Sounds about right." Steve nods. "Careful, if something like that is common on the beach I might not be as keen to check it out."

He's teasing, he knows that while common they aren't that bad so long as you have someone who knows what to look out for or where they're more common. And if he did in fact have Billy there to show him around he was sure that he and his daughter would be fine.

"Still, yeah, I guess it's hard to look at this place the same way after everything I know."

[california_dreaming]

"It's not. And there are not only lots of warning signs you can learn easily, but signage and life guards most of the time," Billy dismisses.

Don't be an idiot, Steve. If you see a part of a beach barely anyone is swimming or sitting at on a beautiful day and it looks calm? It's a fucking riptide.

"Sometimes it's just like that. That you can't see the problem. Forest for the trees."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah, that makes sense." It has nothing to do with him being an idiot and more to do with the fact he didn't know what was out there. The most he'd known about the beach was stuff he heard Max or the others talking about or what he'd seen in movies and tv.

"Don't I know it." He sighs, resting back. "I don't know. Maybe you're right. I can teach anywhere and the brats are adults doing their own thing. Maybe it's about time I did too. Besides I don't want my daughter growing up feeling like she's stuck in this stupid town like I did."

"Maybe I'll take a page out of your book and move out. Move as far as I can while still being able to keep in touch with everyone."

[california_dreaming]

Doing his own thing? Well damn, didn't think being an artist and coming back to this hellish town would mean he could help someone else find their purpose in life.

"Just... going to point a thing out, beautiful. California's got this whole program thing, where kids that graduate high school in California and get into one of the state schools, they're covered tuition wise. Doesn't mean you can't save up for college for your little kid, but there's good schools there, and it might be a safety net."

It also was a state with a lot of schools and need for teachers. But Billy's just biased like that.

"Not that I'm saying move to California or anything if you choose to get out of this place."

[crawlingbackwards]

"Uh huh," Steve just gives him a look that feels more knowing than it probably actually is, still. It's amusing, not to mention that is a check mark in California's favor as far as places to move.

"Could be nice to get out of the cold, how are the winters out there? I know it's a lot warmer in the summer and I know you definitely weren't ready for the winters out here back then so I'm gonna guess warmer all around."

[california_dreaming]

"Big fucking state, Stevie. Really depends on where in it you land. In the north there are full on ski resorts and forests and winter. In the south, a lot less of any of that shit. But around where I am, it's warm and sunny a good bit of the year."

And he doesn't expect that will be the only lure, but some people really enjoy it.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Good point. Down where it's warm and sunny a lot might be nice. At least out there you have more of a choice when it comes to the climate. Like you said, want colder weather just go further north. Not as easy out here if you want more sunshine." Honestly the warmth definitely is alluring. Billy had his own reasons for not liking the cold, but Steve almost lost his life multiple times in that ice cold version of Hawkins. The place that was damp and rotting.

"Sounds like I should plan a vacation and while I'm out there look at prices on places."

[california_dreaming]

"Could always go south," Steve points out. "Deep south is probably sunny."

And too humid to live, but that's just how it goes sometimes.

"See if you like it before you consider that shit, Steve," Billy laughs. No doubt Steve would still have his job arranged for the next school year. So even if he came out this summer to try, it would probably be another year before he moved.

[crawlingbackwards]

"Yeah but, I heard the south is about as bad if not worse than out here for people like us." Steve shook his head.

"Trust me, I don't just jump into things anymore. Looking at prices just means I'm making sure I could even afford to live out there. Besides I can't just up and move over the summer, I'll have to make sure they can replace me at the school and get all that squared away." Not to mention deal with Dustin's whining about even the idea of him moving.

[california_dreaming]

God there is something nice about 'people like us'. That Steve loops them in together.

"Sounds pretty damn responsible. Looks like you're finally a real king, man. Someone worth following."